A Tale of Two Car Thefts: In Hot Pursuit
Hi everyone! In an unfortunate and unprecedented turn of events, my beloved Honda Civic was stolen by vagrant thieves this past Friday. In front of my own home. In the dead of the night. On Saint Patrick’s Day. Needless to say, the good ol’ Luck of the Irish has once again eluded me. Now, I’m…
Welcome To Your Tape
Hi everyone. It is January 24th, and in the past three weeks alone, I have had the honor and privilege of adding yet another reason my collection of Thirteen Reasons Why. (And no, unlike the Netflix show that had one good season and then took a steeeeep nosedive, one of my reasons isn’t that someone…
The Return of Dr. Rachel
Hello all! We have officially entered our universal Jordan Year, and I, for one, can not be happier to leave 2022 behind. As I probably should have anticipated, the year is off to a real whirlwind of a start and we’re only a little over a week in. Here’s a few things that have happened…
Rachel’s Hot Takes
Hello everyone. I’m not sure about you, but as we delve further into the Holiday season, I have found myself at my wits end with everyone and anyone. And in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, a woman who fooled a far younger and more attractive version of myself into believing that you can survive on…
A Gift from Me to You
Hiiiiiiii (Jill Zarin voice). As my unemployment proves to be unwavering (and I have grown further disillusioned with some people in my life) I have had an influx of time to focus on what matters the most to me: television. During this time, I’ve caught up on the latest “buzzworthy shows” across the 1,400 streaming…
Cashing Checks & Snapping Necks
Hey ladies. As the days, weeks, and months pass and I have received nary a call back or even so much as a whisper of a phone interview for the roughly 700 jobs I’ve applied to, I have found myself to be at a bit of an impasse. On the one hand, am I growing…
Of Mice and Men
Hello all. I’m sorry it’s been a while, but in the words of Bethenny Frankel, #ThisIsACrisis. As I write this, I am currently standing on top of my kitchen table. And not for the reason which I always thought I’d be standing on my kitchen table, which would be to hang myself from the ceiling…
Virgo Season, Not Blowjob Season
Hi everyone! Hope you’re all doing well. Or, at the very least, better than me. As we enter my favorite season, Virgo season, we are on the precipice of the very date which I was dragged into this world kicking and screaming. And as my birthday looms around the corner, I’ve decided to give you…
Make It Through the Rain
Hello my friends. As I lay here in a pool of my own sweat and tears, having contracted an unknown illness that may or may not be monkeypox, I’ve decided now is as perfect of time as any to check in with you all. Although this post initially started out as a Dr. Rachel segment…
Ursula’s Revenge
Hello you filthy sluts! It’s me. Ya girl. It’s been a while and I have a lot on my mind and lots to share with you all and I, for one, am excited. Although it may only 3 p.m., I’m tempted to pour myself a glass of crisp Pinot Noir so I can kiki with…
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Wine and Zoloft 