Author Archives: rachellabellaa

Hey all you cool cats and kittens. To kick off today’s aimless musings I’d like to make mention of the fact that merely a week after I called Prince Phillip a “reanimated corpse” and said it was time for the Royal Family to start digging a shallow grave out back, he has officially passed on.Continue reading “License to Kill”

Hello everyone. I hope you’re having a truly blessed and bountiful week. As I fruitlessly scramble in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon for the missing charger to my favorite vibrator, I couldn’t help but feel my time would be better spent answering some more reader questions. I believe I promised a part 2 longContinue reading “Doctor Rachel: Part Deux”

Happy Quarantine anniversary everyone! Exactly one year ago today was the last time I blacked out mask-less at my favorite bar amidst friends and strangers without a Covid care in the world. The following day much to surprise and dismay, our governor who’s name I can never remember issued an official shut down order forContinue reading “Hot Topics”

Hey. It’s me. Your girl. Writing from my familiar seat in rock bottom which last night took the form of running out of Pino Noir and drinking an old champagne split from my cousins wedding two years ago. The perfect end to a perfect weekend. For those who remain blissfully unaware, after many many yearsContinue reading “Brunch or Bust”

Aaaand we’re back. I just want to talk briefly about something that has been weighing heavily on my heart for some time now. Something that has caused me a pain which I have not felt since I finally got to make out with a guy I had a huge crush on in high school andContinue reading “Britney 911”

Hiiiiiiiiiii *Jill Zarin voice*. Another month of the all encompassing nightmare which has plagued us since last March is upon us. And to make matters worse, Valentine’s Day is hovering right around the corner. I always thought people who made a big deal about being alone on Valentine’s Day were as uncreative and generic asContinue reading “Yas Qween.”

Hey pals. I’ve been a little quiet lately because I haven’t found the inspiration to write much but people have been super receptive to my weekly rantings so I decided to pause rewatching Schitts Creek for the fifth time and pick up the computer. I wanted to quickly dive into some pop culture stories ofContinue reading “To Bumble or Not to Bumble?”

Happy inauguration day everyone! As we stand on the precipice of what will hopefully be a more united and harmonious four year term, I can’t help but feel swept up in all the positivity and hope that’s been radiating on my time line all morning. That being said, I’m feeling more generous (delusional) than usualContinue reading “Dr. Rachel”

I can’t help but feel that my posts have become a little insular and mildly depressing so I decided to switch gears and write about something I’m passionate about almost as much as wine and self-loathing: makeup. I have loved makeup since the days of the Maybelline Dream Matte Mousse Foundation (always worn about sixContinue reading “Diary of a (Beauty) Addict”

Well, get your boots and your coat and get ready for a shitstorm of all the random thoughts filling my mind today. Today is the official start to my new year and I’m writing off the first week(ish) as a much needed adjustment period. I have yet to make my vision board due to pureContinue reading “Cabbage Soup & Military Coups”

Today was truly a day bleaker than most. And believe me, that’s saying something. But I promised myself that I would try to write everyday to keep the creative juices flowing, so I figured this would be a productive way kill some time. I probably wont publish this post because let’s face it, just likeContinue reading “A Bleak New Year”

It’s official. We have escaped the dumpster fire hell scape that was 2020 and have embarked on the new year a little fatter, a little drunker, and a little more depressed. My resolution’s, in no particular order, are as follows: Lose weight Drink less Get a job that doesn’t require me to wear an apronContinue reading “Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot?”

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas Eve. I just wanted to further spread my holiday cheer and let my very few readers know that I did, in fact, witness a death the other day. It was in the paper and I’m now considering some sort of counseling for PTSD. Apparently, he was pronounced dead at theContinue reading “A Christmas Miracle”

Welcome back to the manic rantings of someone past their prime. I want to take a second to shout out the whopping 43 viewers of my previous blog post. It was about 42 more than I expected. My one other viewer was anticipated because I foolishly sent it to my mother who called it “interesting”Continue reading “Witnessing a Death and Other Christmas fun”

As I embark on day 2 of the cabbage soup diet I have very very few things bringing me pleasure right now. One, or possibly the only, thing giving me even a crumb of serotonin currently is The Real Housewives of Potomac. I’m going to give my reader(s) the advice that I give my friends,Continue reading “RHOP Reunion Part 1”