Hello you filthy sluts! It’s me. Ya girl. It’s been a while and I have a lot on my mind and lots to share with you all and I, for one, am excited. Although it may only 3 p.m., I’m tempted to pour myself a glass of crisp Pinot Noir so I can kiki with you all the way the Good Lord intended it. As Jesus himself once said, isn’t happy hour anytime?
Fun-employed
After several months working in public relations for a bottom tier wine & spirits company who’s biggest claim to the liquor game is a wine which sells for $4.99 a bottle and I wouldn’t use to fucking gargle with, I am finally free and ready to let my freak flag fly for the summer.
Although I am not ready emotionally to delve into what I was forced to endure working for a woman who for legal purposes I will not address by name – what can we call her? What’s the name of that plus sized sea monster from the little mermaid that sucks the life force out of unsuspecting young women? URSULA. Wow. Alexa- Cue “Poor Unfortunate Souls” – I will graze the surface for the purpose of this blog.
Also as an aside, I will not be using the company’s name because although this blog may seem like small potatoes and you would think it would not even be a potential blip on the radar of a self-described “D1 Company” (quick side note- the employees of this company are by far and away the only people on the face of the planet which would describe this organization as “D1”) the lengths in which they have gone to spread the propaganda that they are an incredible place to work has reassured me time and time again they have nothing but time on their hands. Ex.– Ursula Facetimed me, forcibly shared my screen, and insisted she watch me while I put the “Best Places to Work” emblem in my auto signature.
Anyhoo, what was the last straw, you dare ask? Was it the fact that Ursula would sit and watch my Teams icon to ensure that I logged on exactly at 9 a.m., and if the clock dare passed 9:01 without me being visibly available she would begin with a barrage of incessant emails, IMs, and phone calls? Nope.
Was it that she would insist that I send her “drafts” of my emails before sending them out to INTERNAL MEMBERS OF OUR COMPANY, (many of whom were of no higher level in rank than I was) and she would then LINE EDIT said e-mails, have me make any and all miniscule microscopic changes she requested, then send the emails back to her for second/ third round line editing before sending out? Shockingly, no.
So, what was it? Well, as anyone who knows me is well aware, mama didn’t raise no bitch and I have never and will never have any intention of being talked down to by someone who has worked for a company for eight years and has never advanced beyond their low ranking entry-level position, so they feel the need to wield whatever minute semblance of power they can cling to over their “inferiors” in the manner of a Russian prison officer working overtime at the fucking Gulag.
Anyway, as you could imagine, our personality’s did not gel and we simply were not that into each other. And as time went on, this became glaringly glaringly obvious.
And for those of you who may think that I am exaggerating or perhaps have some problem with authority, allow me to grace you with one shining example which I believe perfectly encapsulates what I had to endure on a daily basis before I was able to successfully escape from Ursula’s clutches.
As part of Ursie’s plan to bombard me with an excessive amount of frivolous busy work so that I would become so overwhelmed I would fall behind and eventually either quit or get fired, she required me to type up detailed notes from each of our weekly team meetings to “distribute to the team”. I use quotations here because although we were only a team of four, she had me leave the only other member of our team off of the recap threads (other than our boss who was not by any shred of the imagination bothering to read them) so that we didn’t “overwhelm him”.
She would then take time out of her day and away from her work tasks (which at this point I cannot fathom what they actually were since her only job seemed to be lording over me with inherent malice) to line edit the INTERNAL RECAPS THAT ONLY SHE WAS READING for me to then alter and send back to her.
During one of our many, many interactions regarding a recap I had written, she informed me VERY AGGRESSIVELY that something I had written down was inaccurate. I dared to respond correcting her correction, and used the word verbatim, which sent Ursula into a frenzy reminiscent of the killer shark from Jaws. I have included the thread below.
“
Me: Hi!
I believe I may have mentioned prior, but I have a tendency to write down verbatim the dialogue from our team meetings, then sift through the dialogue line by line and extract any pertinent information to include in the recap.
I could be wrong on this and of course there is potential that I may have misheard, but I have written that Kyle stated the below-
“The other thing slightly concerning coming out of the brand meeting is they already cut the budget overall, but there will probably need to be even further cuts on their side.”
If I did in fact hear correctly, than I believe my bullet point per **redacted** is correct.
Let me know!
Rachel
Ursula, Soul Sucking Sea Hag of the Deep:
Hi Rachel – Thanks for the follow up! See below.
Overall, I think your questions/callouts below go back to my note last week re: focusing on decisions, to-do’s, and significant outcomes. Writing notes verbatim is great if you are able to keep up with convo, but translating your verbatim notes into an actionable recap may require some additional thinking and organization.
Per your message, not sure if there is a question here? Great that you were able to capture what was said verbatim. When translating your verbatim notes the recap, you should then use your judgment to summarize the key take away/action. This portion of the conversation was related to finalizing PR budgets and updating our PoaPs accordingly. My note is related to the way you’ve phrased the action time. Please reword phrasing in your verbatim notes for my viewing.
In addition, correct in that we discussed the details you mention above, but per your verbatim notes, the notes in your recap, and my personal notes, there wasn’t a final determination on the next step/final details on this ask. If there was, then your recap does not reflect so accordingly – some additional notes on this piece below in BLUE. These aren’t questions you need to answer immediately, just some thoughts/items to consider as you revise your verbatim notes. The questions I have lead me to believe we likely need a follow up convo – “
In addition to the above in which she bolded the word verbatim 7 separate times, she then sent me fourteen bullet points of follow-up questions which featured the word several more times. As I sat back in a state of awe and despair, confused as to what could have possibly triggered such a passive aggressive response, I wondered if at some point in her past perhaps a beloved family pet was kidnapped and sent back to her piece by piece, and the word VERBATIM was used in the ransom note. Short of this, there truly is no other acceptable excuse.
Anyway, there was a lot of other far more important things going on in the world which I wanted to get into but I have rambled on long enough for one entry, so perhaps this week I’ll churn out 2 blogs instead of one. After all, now I have nothing but time on my hands. Case closed bring in the dancing lobsters.
KISSES!
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Wine and Zoloft 