A Christmas Miracle

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas Eve. I just wanted to further spread my holiday cheer and let my very few readers know that I did, in fact, witness a death the other day. It was in the paper and I’m now considering some sort of counseling for PTSD. Apparently, he was pronounced dead at the scene and hasn’t been able to be identified. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

I was going to recap the second part of the RHOP reunion but I’m so livid at the way Andy handled the whole Monique v Candaice feud I honestly don’t want to aggrivate myself by reliving it. As I just mentioned, I’m dealing with enough trauma right now. What I will say is he came off as completely biased towards Monique and like, that wasn’t cool. He said “Monique, you’ve had a year to process your emotions, you knew you were coming here and Canadice is sitting here crying and upset. You seem very unemotional about everything.”( I’m paraphrasing here because I didn’t bother to take notes but that was basically the gist. ) But yeeah, Andy, she’s crying for screen time. And you know that. She knows that. We all know that.

And why would she still be that upset to the point of uncontrollable tears and a dramatic walk off to recollect herself A YEAR AFTER THE FACT? I find it hard to believe that this is the first time she got her ass kicked. Doesn’t her mom beat her? You lost. It was embarrassing. At least you held onto your wig. Time to move on.

Honestly, I just can’t believe that all of the women are acting like Monique committed some sort of dire transgression. I want to fist fight my friends all the time and the only thing that stops me is knowing I’d probably lose. Anyways, the editors were totally on Monique’s side despite Andy’s blatant unprofessionalism which I was LIIIVVVINNNGGG FORRRRRRR HONNEEYYYYY. Every time Monique recounted her side of the story and it was disputed by the other women, they cut to clips which proved everything she was saying to be factual. Giselle pushed her shoulder (she thought it was Candaice), Candeegirl was waving her hands in her face, and she snapped. End of story.

Other thoughts about the reunion which I just said I wasn’t going to recap but have somehow ended up recapping.. meh. I have to say I do love the behind the scenes production fourth wall breaking they’re doing. During the break a production cam followed them into their dressing rooms and captured Giselle and Robyn- a friendship which I no longer find to be even marginally amusing. It’s giving bitter, desperate, and mean.

“You’re a binder loser.. you have copied things and put it in a binder.” Wow. The prose. Robert Frost could never.

My dad wandered in during Ashley’s monologue and said “Why are they all wearing yellow?” That’s a good question. A gooooood question. I will say I did appreciate Andy’s soft spot for Ashley when he said he rooted for her. I root for you too Ashcakes! Although she kind of lost me when she tried to justify Michael’s multiple cheating scandals by saying that he forgave her when they were separated and she “had some fun”. To quote Ross Gellar, YOUU WERE ONN A BREAAAAAAAAAKKKK. It’s not the same thing.

Let’s see.. what am I missing. Rising Karen vs Giz tensions, me falling asleep when Robyn or Wendy talk, OH yes a forgotten queen icon legend Katie Rost mention! She apparently said she had a sexual encounter with a former castmate?!?! WHOOOOO? I need to know. Also, I think I’ve said this before but Justice for Katie. I’m pretty sure she was taken off the show because she kept calling out Bravo on twitter but I also think its because she has mental health issues which made her a liablity for Bravo, but I digress.

Anyway, I’m going to go finish wrapping presents which I can’t afford for people in my boyfriends family who don’t like me while I force myself to watch Christmas movies so I can at least pretend I’m enjoying the holiday. People usually measure their fleeting youth in how many “good Summers” they have left. I, on the other hand, measure it by how many good Christmas’ I have left. And seeing as I haven’t had a good Christmas since about 2014, it’s safe to say my time is running out. Feliz Navidad!

#bravo #christmas #holidays #death #recap #joy #christmaseve #death wrapping #cheer #andycohen #RHOP #newblogger #blog #fromzerotohero

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