Hot Topics ~~

Happy International Women’s Day everyone! I can’t wait to see you all use the guise of gender empowerment as justification for posting a flattering photo of yourselves from 3 years ago. Come to think of it, maybe I’ll do the same.

I haven’t posted in a while because I have been undergoing a very soul crushing series of unfortunate events which has involved my dog going to dog prison, moving from this absolute dumpster fire hellhole of a building that still manages to charge me over 3k a month despite the general lack of working utilities, and starting a new job that has instilled in me once and for all what the word “corporate” really means. Have you ever had a pre-meeting to discuss an upcoming meeting and then a post meeting to discuss the meeting which also simultaneously serves as the first of two pre meetings for the next meeting? Because I have.

Anyhoo, because the aforementioned life events are enough to send me into cardiac arrest just thinking about them, I’ve decided to turn my attention elsewhere to some hot topics that have been keeping me up at night. Ladies and gentlemen, without further adieu, a woman unhinged:

  1. I know I’m about a week late and a dollar short to the party here, but I would like to cover the fucking travesty that was the season finale of Euphoria. I have watched every episode of this past season every Sunday promptly at 9 p.m. and this was no exception. I even hosted a viewing party, girded my loins, and waited for a cinematic masterpiece unlike one I have experienced before to grace my screen. (I still have chills form the final sequence of the finale of season 1 when Rue breaks into a song and dance number accompanied by the bone chilling tones of Labrintyh. Side side note- did you know that it’s actually none other than Zendaya HERSELF singing that song from that scene? Because I didn’t until like 3 days ago) Anyway, what I actually got this time around mirrored a common reoccurring theme for everything else  in my life- a big fat disappointment.

Now I’m sure you’ve seen all the memes and all the Tiktoks and I don’t want to reiterate what we’ve all heard a thousand times before such as why the fuck did I spend 7 minutes of the episode listening to Elliot sing the same bars over and over again? Why do I care about Elliot singing? He hasn’t even been in the past three episodes. AND WHY. WHY. DIDN’T WE GET MORE FOOTAGE. OF MADDIE BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF CASSIE. I can honestly say without so much as a shred of exaggeration that watching her smash Cassies head against the wall was the most satisfying five seconds of the entire episode. Anyway, not to go off on too much of a tangent here but here are some of my unpopular opinions-

Alright for the sake of my mental health I’m going to call it quits here before I work myself into a frenzy. Talk soon, xoxo gossip girl

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